What's The Point

Every day I clean and tend things and make sure outside is picked up.  Everything looks as in order as I can get it.  I wash clothes.  I make the bed.  I do the dishes.  Then I make coffee.

The day goes on and the only thing that was worth anything was the cup of coffee.  The TV drones on, in the background.  Why? Just to hear another human voice.  The TV talks me to sleep each night.

Why do I keep up with things.  It's not like I'm expecting a drop-in visitor, or even a phone call.  At this point, a regular email from some folks would be nice.  But, I digress. 

I remember trying to get a few friends, who agreed, to mail traditional letters and cards to each other.  Well, that lasted  about a month.  I don't even hear from these folks any more.  So, I just packed it in.

I often wonder why I try and why I keep on.  This morning, my answer is 'I don't know.'  I wonder if I should keep on.  My answer is another 'I don't know.'  I'm just tired.  I put on a 'face' and show kindness if I can.  Since I have nothing to offer but kindness, folks move on.  

I say all of this, just to ask -- What's the point?  It takes a lot for me to care because my heart is almost 100% scar tissue.  Not physically. Just the result of a life time of having my heart cut to shreds.  I still try.  Only to ask  'What's the point?'

So, seriously, what is the point? I am in my 70th year and I am no longer of any value to anyone or society.  Should I go?  I don't want to linger around this sick and twisted world, much longer.  :D  God willing!